I used to want to be a nun. Not even just as a little girl, but all throughout high school I wanted to be a nun. Then I discovered the reason I wanted to be a nun was my disinterest in boys. In college I discovered that I wasn’t interested in boys romantically because I was a lesbian. I began questioning my religion. It was hard. It was something I had believed in since a little girl, becoming an “atheist” is a slow process for me. I became agnostic, and settled for that because out of all the beauty in the world, all the patterns, and majesty that surrounded me in nature, and art; their had to be something more, something bigger that we can not comprehend as humans. Slowly this belief has been dying as well. I think I’m atheist, as my mind tells me the existence of a God is silly, but my emotions, the human part of me refuses to give up believing in the last fairly tale I’ve ever known. I’m stuck as that 6 year old kid who doesn’t want to believe her parent’s when they tell her Santa Clause isn’t real; it’s depressing. I’ve been taught that atheists believe in science, that science was their God, I hate science, so therefore I hate being atheist. I’m beginning to learn though that atheism is the absence of belief in anything, and while many atheists might use science to back up their justification in believing a certain way, it’s not necessarily that way completely? Sorry for rambling and not making any coherent sense. Opinions?